Which is first? God or Family?

What is most important in the heart of God?

By Barry Bennett

I have heard some try to prioritize our relationships to God, family and ministry in different ways. Some have said, “God first, then family, then ministry.” I’ve even heard others say, “God first, then ministry, then family.” Of course, those who put ministry over family usually are looking for an excuse to neglect their family and it shows.

What is most important in the heart of God?

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Gen. 2:18)

God recognized that Adam’s relationship with Him was not enough. In order to accomplish His purposes in the earth, man needed a wife.

Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Gen. 2:24)

God established marriage and family first. It was the first divine institution He created.

Paul spoke of this union between a man and his wife as well. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I am speaking about Christ and the church. (Eph. 5:30-32)

The union of husband and wife is a mystery that reveals Christ and the church! What could be more important than that?

The point is this: Putting family first IS putting God first. It isn’t a choice between God or family. Choosing family is choosing what God chose. Choosing family is choosing God. Marriage and family are ordained by God to reveal the relationship between Christ and the church. It is a covenant relationship of love, giving, sacrifice, blessing and forgiveness. Neglecting marriage and family to “serve God” is a nonsensical statement. When you neglect family, you are neglecting God.

Consider Paul’s admonition: “But if any do not care for their own, and especially for those of their own house, they have denied the faith and are worse than unbelievers.” (1 Tim. 5:8)

Men, if you are seeking ministry, when you honor your bride God will trust you more with His Bride.


The writer is a Dean of Instuctors at Charis Bible College in Colorado. Author reserves all rights to this publication.

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